


Killer Queen

by velvetpotters



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gay Sirius Black, Good Regulus Black, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mentions of smoking/drugs, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Severus Snape Bashing, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon Friendship, Sirius Black & Regulus Black Friendship, Smoking, Underage Smoking, Werewolf Remus Lupin, not slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 06:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetpotters/pseuds/velvetpotters
Summary: Regulus black has always been jealous of his older brother. His confidence to stand up to their parents was something he's always admired. But the thing he was most jealous about, was herSage Jenkins had always been friends with the Marauders, and the only one who treated Regulus like a normals person. And now she was dating Sirius. And Regulus couldn't help but feel jealous.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald/Original Female Character(s), Peter Pettigrew/Original Female Character(s), Regulus Black/Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Male Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter One: Sixth Year

**Author's Note:**

> hello all!! this is my first book on ao3, so therefore it will not be perfect. nevertheless, I hope you enjoy!!

_I'm always too busy dreamin'  
Well, maybe I should wake up instead  
A lot of things I regret, but I just say I forget  
Why can't it just be easy?  
Why does everybody need me to stay? ___

Sage Jenkins stood on the Hogwarts Express platform with her luggage in hand, waiting for the train to arrive. She was starting her sixth year at Hogwarts and was excited for it. She started to look around for her friends, when she spotted a boy with curly brown hair and glasses coming towards her.

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"Hey, Jenkins!" the boy said, engulfing the girl in a hug. She hugged him back tightly, having not seen him in over three months.

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"Hey, James! Long time no see." She smiled at him as they started to look around to see if they could spot any of their other friends.

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On the other end of the platform, they saw two boys standing with their mother. The older one had long, shoulder length hair while the younger one had his neatly cut. They were both wearing the same type of fancy clothes. Their mother took the youngest one in a hug, kissing the top of his head, while the older one stood, watching.

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The two brothers then turned around and walked towards the two friends. Sage was beaming as they came closer, starting to walk towards the one with longer hair.

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"Sirius!" she said as they hugged each other tightly, the boy slightly picking her up off the ground. "I missed you!"

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He put her down, keeping his hands around her waist. She kept hers around his neck, as they smiled at each other. 

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"I missed you too Jenkins," he said moving his hand from her waist to her face to move a strand of hair behind her ear. 

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The two had started dating just before the school year before had ended. It was torture for the both of them to not see each other over the summer, especially since Sirus's parents wouldn't let him send or receive any letters. 

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He then put his hand on her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. She smiled into it before pulling away.

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"Ugh, get a room," James said coming up behind the pair. They broke away from each other, Sirius keeping his hand around Sage's waist.

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"Ah, piss off Potter," Sirius replied, playfully slapping his friend on his arm. "You're just upset that Evans still hasn't acknowledged your existence." 

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"No, but this is the year," James said, putting his arm around his friends neck. "I can feel it."

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James and Sirius continued their conversation as Sage turned her attention to the other Black brother. He was standing next to Sirius, looking somewhat annoyed.

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"Hey Regulus," Sage said, waving at him. "You have a good summer?"

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"Eh, it could've been better," the boy responded, fidgeting with his trunk. "I had to put up with the usual shit from the parents, but other then that it was okay. How 'bout you?"

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"It was good!" she responded, smiling. "Missed you lot though!"

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"Regulus, don't you have to talk to your pure blood friends?" Sirius said, turning towards him with a cold expression on his face. "Thought you didn't want to associate with muggleborns."

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Sage winced at these words. She knew her status as a muggleborn wasn't one that was respected much at Hogwarts. And she knew that the Black family was notoriously known for not associating with anyone other than purebloods. But she knew Regulus was different. She just couldn't understand why Sirius wouldn't see it. If he could break the Black family norms, why couldn't his brother? Sure, Regulus wasn't the bravest when it came to standing up to his parents, and he definitely did tend to hang around purebloods, but it wasn't who he truly was. And Sage knew that.

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"Whatever," Regulus responded to his brother. The smile that was on his face quickly changed to a scowl. "I'll just go find Barty."

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And with that, Regulus went on the train to find his friend. The rest of them started to look around the station for the last two members of their group. They saw a heavier boy with dirty blonde hair walk towards them with a big smile on his face.

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"Hey Pete!" James said, greeting his friend with a slap on the back. 

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"Hey James!" the boy responded excitedly. "How is everyone?"

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The group shared about their summers for awhile and then the conversation turned into one about who the best quidditch teams were. Sage started to tune them out, thinking about what Sirius had said to his brother. 

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It always somewhat bothered her that he acted so coldly to his own brother, especially when it seemed they were so close before they got to Hogwarts. She knew it hurt Regulus that the only reason Sirius didn't like him was simply because he was sorted into Slytherin.

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Her thoughts were interrupted by the last member of their group. The 6 foot boy with short dirty blond hair started walking towards the group. Once he arrived, Sage smiled widely before hugging him.

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"Hey Moony," she said as they embraced each other, Sage standing slightly on her tippy toes so she could reach her friend. "You grew!"

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"Haha, yeah I guess I did," the boy responded as they pulled away. "How've you been?"

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"I've been good!" she said. "Been a little paranoid ever since everything with the 'Dark Lord' happening. But you know, doing good other then that."

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"Yeah I feel you," he responded. Before the two could continue their conversation, James, Sirius, and Peter started to greet Remus. 

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"Well, should we go on the train?" James asked his friends. "Don't want it to leave without us."

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The group then walked onto the train and into one of the carriages. Remus took the window seat and Sirius sat next to him, holding Sage as she leaned her head on him. James and Peter sat opposite of them.

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Just as they got comfortable, some fifth year Slytherins walked past their carriage. They started yelling insults at the group, commenting on both Sage and Remus's blood status and the fact that the rest of them associated with them.

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"Ah, bug off would ya?" Sirius said, pulling his girlfriend a little closer to him. The Slytherins just laughed as they continued to walk.

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"God, that was horrible. Does that happen to you two often?" James asked Remus and Sage. The two looked knowingly at each other before responding.

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"Well, it happens a fair amount to me," Remus said, sitting forward. "Can only imagine how much it happens to a full muggleborn like Sage."

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The group looked at the girl, awaiting her input on the topic. "Well, it didn't happen while I was home. You know, living in a muggle town and all. But yeah, last year it happened. And I know it's only going to get worse."

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"I recognize those boys," Sirius said, looking out the carriage window, clearly not paying attention to the conversation. "They hang around Regulus sometimes. God, of course he's friends with those bastards."

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"Sirius," Sage said, looking at her boyfriend. "You know Regulus doesn't think like that."

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"Why wouldn't he?" Sirius said, raising his voice a little. "He's friends with all of them!"

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"Well, yeah, but it's only because of your family."

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"Bullshit," Sirius said, crossing his arms. "If I can associate with non-purebloods and 'blood traitors' then so can he."

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"Hey, at least he's not friends with Snivellus," James said, interrupting the pair. He could tell that this would be turning into an argument, and he didn't really want to be there for it.

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"You're right," Sirius laughed. "Not even my snotty brother would be friends with him."

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The whole carriage erupted with laughter. Sirius grabbed Sage's hand and interlocked their fingers. Sage responded by putting her head on his shoulder.

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Even when Sirius was being a complete arse, she couldn't help but just melt at his touch. The Black family just had that magic touch.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at beginning is 'good news' by Mac Miller <3


	2. Chapter Two: Staircases and Smiles

_I'm wasted, losing time_

_I'm a foolish, fragile spine_

_I want all that is not mine_

_I want him but we're not right_

_I_ _n the darkness I will meet my creators_

_And they will all agree, that I'm a suffocator_

The group of friends walked into the great hall and made their way to the Gryffindor table. They all sat down, Sirius and Sage on one side of the table and Peter, James, and Remus on the other side. As soon as they got settled, three girls in their year came up to sit next to them. The red haired one sat next to Sage and the blonde one sat next to her. The last one sat next to Remus on the other side of the table.

"Hey Lily!" Sage greeted her friend while hugging her. "How was your break?"

"It was good!" Lily responded, coming out of the embrace. "A little boring though. Nothing very exciting happened."

"That is a lie," the girl sitting next Lily, Marlene, said. Sage gave her a quizzical look. "She was just telling us about this boy that she met at home."

Sage looked at the girl with curiosity, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Well, nothing happened," she started. "But yeah, I guess we kinda liked each other? I'm not really sure."

"And what was this lad's name?" James, who had been eavesdropping on the girl's conversation, asked. He was seemingly getting pretty jealous that Lily liked a boy that wasn't him. Remus sighed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to hear the end of it later that night.

"And why does that concern you, Potter?" Lily asked, looking at the boy. "When I checked, you weren't apart of this conversation."

"Just being curious," James said, throwing his hands up in defense. "That's all."

"Well, if you must know," Lily started, blushing a little as she did so. "his name was Aaron." She smiled a little at those words, remembering what had happened.

"Sounds hot," the other girl, Mary, said. "Was he?"

"Well, he wasn't ugly. That's for sure." Everyone laughed at this, besides James.

"Well, my summer was shit. But what else could you expect from the famous House of Black?" Sirius said, quickly changing the mood of the group.

"How bad was it this time?" Mary asked him, seeming concerned. "I can only imagine how bad it must have gotten since the rise of the 'dark lord'."

"Yeah, your imagination probably wouldn't even do it justice." Sage slowly started to grab his hand under the table as he said this. "My parents started hosting Death Eater meetings, which I guess is what his followers are called. Which I guess also means that they are Death Eaters. Doesn't surprise me, I'm sure that it doesn't surprise you lot either. But you know, it was still somewhat of a shock. Especially for Regulus for some reason. Not sure why, they always talked about it. Guess he just never expected for them to go through with it. I'm just surprised that he hasn't joined them yet."

Sage felt a surge of anger and annoyance come over her as he said these words. "Cmon Sirius, you know that's not fair."

"No, you don't know him Sage. You think you're friends with him, but you guys aren't as close as you think you guys are. He's just the same as the rest of them."

These words made her angry. Sirius had never gotten this defensive over this. It was known in his friend group that he didn't particularly like his family, even Regulus, but he knew that Sage was friends with him, and most of the time he tried to be supportive about it. But this time was different for some reason.

"You know what?" She said, letting go of his hand. "Fuck you Sirius. If anything, you don't know Regulus. Yeah he hangs out with shitty people, but that's not who he really is. And you'd know that if you actually talked to him. God you're so dense." She stood up after she said this. "I'm leaving."

"But the sorting ceremony is about to start!" Peter said, getting anxious at his two friends fighting.

"I don't care," Sage said as she left the Great Hall.

"Why do you guys always have to fight over that?" Peter asked, looking down at his hands.

"Shove off Wormtail," Sirius said, wanting the conversation to be over.

Everyone sat in awkward silence for awhile, wondering where Sage was.

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Meanwhile, Sage was in the girl's bathroom, trying to calm herself down. She hated getting angry at Sirius, and she hated being in a fight with him, but she just couldn't fathom how he couldn't realize that his own brother wasn't like their parents.

Sirius used to tell her stories about how close they were as kids. He would always stand up for Regulus when their parents would yell at him. She always wondered what happened. Why did them going to Hogwarts change them?

After awhile in the bathroom, she decided to just go to her dorm early. She didn't think she could handle trying to talk to Sirius again in that night.

As she walked down the corridor she ran into a very worried looking Regulus.

"There you are!" he said, letting out a breath of relief. "What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" she laughed, trying to mask how upset she was.

"Well, I noticed you weren't at the Gryffindor table and I came to look for you," he said, getting a little sheepish. "I got a little worried."

"You softie," she giggled, playfully slapping his arm. They walked around the corner where the staircase was and sat down on the first step.

"So are you okay?" he asked, sincerely.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," She said putting her head in her hands. "Just your brother being an arse."

"Yeah, he seems to do that alot," Regulus scoffed. "Let me guess, said I was just like our parents?"

"Yup," she said sitting up. "God, it just makes me so upset. He says I don't know you, but everyone knows I know you better than he does. And if you were just like your parents. then I doubt you would even talk to me, but here you are, talking to me."

They both laughed a little as she finished.

"I know, I wish that he would just listen sometimes," Regulus started. "He always yells at me for not standing up to our parents. Says that if I was any different I would say something, like he does. But I'm not as bold as he is, you know? I wish I could be. And I hate the way he hates me just 'cause I was put in Slytherin, as if I could control that."

Sage put her hand on his and gave him a sympathetic look. "I know, he can be a real asshole sometimes."

"Everyday, I wonder why you decided to date him," he laughed.

"Hey, what can I say?' She laughed along with him. "He's attractive."

They both laughed as she put her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for being my friend," Regulus said after some silence. "I mean it."

"Of course Reg," Sage said, picking her head to look at him. "Wouldn't want to be friends with anyone else."

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Later that night, Sage walked into the Gryffindor common room. She had spent the rest of the night talking to Regulus. They talked about what they did over the summer, Regulus jealous that she got to live a life without magic for three months.Their conversation had made her happier, as they always seemed to do.

She started to walk to her dorm, not feeling the smile that was plastered across her face. She was thinking about her and Regulus conversation and she didn't notice Remus sitting on the couch.

"What are you smiling about?" Remus said, putting down the book he was reading.

Sage turned around and walked in front of the couch.

"What do you mean?" she asked, sitting on the chair across from him.

"You're smiling. A lot. It have something to do with where you went after you stormed out?" Remus said, smirking a bit.

"I guess," she replied, smiling down at her shoes.

"So when you gonna tell Sirius that you fancy his brother?"

"What?" she said looking up at him with a confused look on her face.

"Cmon, it's obvious," Remus replied cocking his head to the side. "We all know you were talking to him after you left. He wasn't at the Slytherin table. That plus the defending him so much, I just put two and two together."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Sage said shaking her head. "I'm with Sirius. I love him. I defended Regulus because he is a good person."

"Whatever you say," he said, leaning back on the couch. "For the record, I think you guys would be a cute couple."

"Well thank you, but I'm content with his brother," she said, getting up. "Anyways, goodnight. I think we could both get some sleep." She smiled, knowing the full moon had happened only three days ago. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He smiled at her before going back to his book as she walked up the stairs to her dorm. She opened the door quietly, not knowing if her dorm mates had fallen asleep already or not. She changed into her pajamas and got into bed, pulling the covers up over her chest.

She lay there thinking about the events that had happened that night. She was dreading having to see Sirius the next day. While these small arguments of theirs were always resolved right away, this one was a big one, and she wasn't sure if he'd still be upset tomorrow.

She tried to take her mind off this, and thought about other things instead. Eventually, she fell asleep, thinking about part of her and Regulus's conversation earlier.

She dreamed about her and Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at begging is 'Smother' by Daughter <3
> 
> also, sorry the format is so weird in this chapter!! I fucked it up, but it was just too much of a bother for me to go back and fix lol


	3. Chapter Three: Potions and Questions

_Ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves?  
Ain't it like thunder under earth, the sound it makes?  
Ain't it exciting you, the rumble where you lay?  
Ain't you my baby, ain't you my baby? ___

__Sage woke up the next morning to Lily getting ready for the first day classes. She was looking through the dresser, trying to find her tie that she put away the night before._ _

__"Oh, good morning Sage," Lily smiled at her as she pulled the tie out of one of the drawers. Sage responded by groaning as she turned over and put her pillow on her head. "Forgot you're not a morning person."_ _

__"Yeah, its not just that," Sage said as she sat up in her bed. "I never talked to Sirius about what happened yesterday. Who knows if he's still upset or not."_ _

__Lily gave her a small smile as she did her makeup in the mirror. She went over to sit on Sage's bed before she started to talk._ _

__"Don't worry. It will be okay," Lily said, smiling at Sage. "He knows you care about Regulus, but he also knows you care about him. It'll all be okay."_ _

__"Thanks Lils." Sage gave her a smile before getting out of her bed. "Now I've gotta get ready."_ _

__"Good luck getting in the bathroom," Marlene said, coming back into the dorm to get a book she had forgotten. "Mary has been hogging it all morning."_ _

__Mary then walked out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'm done now."_ _

__Sage looked at the clock on her bedside table._ _

__8:30, it read._ _

__"Shit, shit," she said getting clothes from her dresser. "I'm gonna have like, 15 minutes to eat. Why didn't any of you wake me?"_ _

__The other girls looked at each other nervously, before answering._ _

__"Well," Mary started, looking away from her friends. "You just, seemed really upset last night and we weren't sure if you still would be today. So, we thought best to not wake you up."_ _

__This made Sage upset. After all, her best friends should be able to talk to her. "Whatever, I'm already running late." She grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom to get ready. "You guys go ahead to breakfast, I'll be right there."_ _

__She quickly changed and did her hair, one thing going through her mind. How would Sirius be today? She was scared that he might be upset with her after what happened yesterday, but truthfully, she was still upset with him._ _

__She was also thinking about what Remus had said the night before. Of course she didn't like Regulus, but she couldn't stop thinking why he would even think that. Was she, perhaps, _too _close to him? She tried to the shake the thought as she grabbed her book bag and left the dorm.___ _

____She quickly walked to the Great Hall, only having about 15 minutes to eat breakfast. She sat down next to Remus when she arrived, grabbing a piece of toast and putting jam on it. She looked across from her, sharing an awkward look with Sirius. She wondered if anyone else could feel the tension._ _ _ _

____"And where were you?" Remus asked her as she took a bite from her toast._ _ _ _

____"I slept late," she said, looking over at the other girls._ _ _ _

____The table went back to the conversation that they were having before she arrived. She tried to pay attention, but she kept getting wrapped up in her thoughts._ _ _ _

____She kept thinking about the unseen tension between her and Sirius. Would they talk about what happened? Or would they move on as if nothing happened?_ _ _ _

____She was still engulfed in these thoughts as everyone around her started to get up._ _ _ _

____"You coming?" Remus asked her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She nodded before getting up as well._ _ _ _

____They walked to their first class, which was potions with the Slytherins. They had had this class with them since first year, and it hadn't gotten any better. In fact, this year was most likely to be the worst one yet._ _ _ _

____They walked into the potions classroom and were greeted by Professor Slughorn._ _ _ _

____"Good morning children!" He said, welcoming them into the classroom. "Nice to see you back here this school year."_ _ _ _

____He started going over what they would be learning that year, but Sage tuned him out. She was never particularly _great _at potions, but she wouldn't say she was bad at it.___ _ _ _

______She only started paying attention again when Slughorn said who their partners for the rest of the year would be._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Whoever you are sitting next to! That is who you will be working with this year!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sage looked next to her and groaned when she realized she had sat next to Severus Snape._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm not too happy about this either," he started, seeing the look of disgust on her face. "but just let me do the work and we'll be fine."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sage was content with this deal. Yes, she didn't like Snape. But the idea of having to do little to no work made her almost not care._ _ _ _ _ _

______Throughout the class, she kept glancing looks over at Sirius, who had partnered up with James. The first time she did, he gave her a sympathetic look and mouthed _"I'm sorry" _. She gave him a similar smile in return, before Snape started to talk to her.___ _ _ _ _ _

________"So, Sage," he started, while mixing the ingredients in the potion they were making. "Are Lily and James together?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"W-what?" Sage asked, surprised. She knew that he liked Lily, as it was quite obvious, but she wasn't expecting him to ask _her _that question.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Just, just answer the question," he said, not looking up from the cauldron._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Well, no, they are not," she started. "But, y'know, James is very smitten with her, and we all think she likes him back, even if she doesn't realize it. So, it's only a matter of time really."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Oh," Snape said, keeping his attention on his cauldron. And he didn't say a single word for the rest of class._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________\------------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________After all the classes for the day had ended, the group of friends, minus Mary and Marlene who were studying in the library, were sitting in the common room. Remus was sitting on the couch, next to James and Lily, who seemed to be sitting closer to each other than normal. Peter sat on the chair next to them, and Sage and Sirius were sitting on the love chair in the room. They had never talked about what happened, and Sage was starting to wonder if they ever would._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________But as of now, she was content with where they were now; sitting in the common room, together, listening to music with the rest of their friends._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Oh, you guys are really going to like this one," James said as the next song from his Queen vinyl played. "Reminds me of you guys."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Just then, "You're My Best Friend" started to play out. Everyone groaned at how sappy James was, as he started to belt out every word to the song. Sirius started to laugh, before eventually joining in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sage looked at him, laughing, and he looked back at her. They shared the same loving look in their eyes. Sirius kissed her on the forehead and she leaned into his chest, joining Sirius, James, and now Lily as well, as they all sang along to Queen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at begging is 'NFWMB' by hozier <3


	4. Chapter Four: Libraries and Breakups

_I shouldn't have called  
'Cause we shouldn't speak  
You do make me hard  
But she makes me weak_

__It had been a couple weeks since Sage and Sirius's argument. They had never talked about what happened. They had both silently agreed to forgive each other. Remus and James and tried to get to them to talk about it, but to no avail. And besides, the group had more important matters on their hands._ _

__"Sirius," Remus started, looking up from his transfiguration textbook. "Halloween isn't for another three weeks. Plus, we don't need to have a party."_ _

__"Oh, Moony," Sirius replied, looking at his friend with sarcastic pity. "You always need to have a party. Plus, it's never to early to start planning."_ _

__Remus looked at Sage with a look that said "help."_ _

__Sage just shrugged as she said, "It's not a horrible idea to have it."_ _

__"Ah, betrayed," Remus said, laughing and opening his textbook again._ _

__The three friends were in the library, studying. Well, Remus and Sage were. Sirius kept bugging them with questions about party details._ _

__"Why don't you go bother James with these questions?" Remus said, closing his book._ _

__"He's off somewhere with Evans. Who knows where," He replied putting his face in his hands._ _

__Remus and Sage gave each other a knowing look. Lily had been telling Sage about what had been going on between her and James, and Sage had shared it with Remus, knowing he wouldn't tell anyone. But they wouldn't tell Sirius what was going on._ _

__Sirius had moved his head so it was on the table, and he was looking up at Sage, smiling._ _

__"What?" She asking, laughing a little bit._ _

__"Nothing," he replied, still smiling._ _

__"Weirdo." Sage looked over to see Remus packing up his bag. "Where are you going?"_ _

__"Oh, um, I gotta go. Prefect duties," he said as he walked towards the door._ _

__Sage knew that that was a lie, but she couldn't figure out why he would lie. She didn't spend much time on it though, as she felt Sirius's eyes leave her own face._ _

__She looked over to see him scowling at something. She followed his line of sight to see Regulus sitting at a table with his friends. They all seemed to snickering about something, but she couldn't tell what._ _

__"Cmon Sirius," she said getting up. "Let's go"_ _

__"What? Why?" He said looking up at her, confused._ _

__"Because Reg is here," she said, avoiding looking back at him. "and I don't want you to fight or anything."_ _

__"Oh come on," Sirius replied, leaning back in his seat. "I wouldn't do that."_ _

__"Well, you've been seeming pretty jealous of us lately, so who knows what you would do."_ _

__"Jealous?" He scoffed. "In what way have I been jealous?"_ _

__"Well, for starters, you seem to care about the fact that I'm friends with him way more than you ever have."_ _

__"Yeah, because he's not a good person!" Sirius said, raising his voice. "I could tolerate it before, but now he's mixed in with all the death eater shit! And I don't want you to get caught up in it and get hurt!"_ _

__"Well, I can take care of myself Sirius." Regulus and his friends and now started to look over to see what was happening._ _

__Sage grabbed her stuff and started to walk out. Sirius got up to follow her._ _

__"Don't follow me," she said as she continued to walk out._ _

__Sirius froze where he was and just looked at her._ _

__"And for the record," she said, turning around one last time. "Regulus wouldn't let me get hurt."_ _

__And with that she walked out of the library. And she continued to walk. She wasn't completely sure where she was going, but she knew she needed to be as far away from Sirius as possible._ _

__She decided to go one of the secret places she knew about. There was a small, closed off tunnel behind a painting in one of the corridors. Possibly the only one which was not on the Marauders Map. Her and Remus had found it in second year and decided to keep it to themselves. After all, it was closed off. Why would they need to use it?_ _

__She was just about to open the entrance when she heard someone call her name. She looked behind her to see Regulus waking down the hall towards her. She took a deep breathe and prepared herself for what was to come._ _

__"Hey Reg," she said as he stopped in front of her. He looked worried as he started to talk._ _

__"Are you okay Sage?" he started, trying to catch her eye. "You stormed out of there pretty fast."_ _

__"Yeah, I'm okay," she replied, looking at her feet. "How much did you hear?"_ _

__"Not much," Regulus said. Sage gave him a look, knowing that he was lying. "Okay. A lot. But I told the others to piss off when they wanted to come with me." Sage looked down again, becoming embarrassed at the scene she had made earlier. "I'm sorry Sage. I really am. You don't deserve that."_ _

__He started to go in to hug her, but she backed away. "I'm sorry, I just, I just wanna be left alone."_ _

__He looked at her, sadly. All he wanted to do was be there for her. And now he couldn't even do that._ _

__"Well, can I sit with you? We don't have to talk."_ _

__"Regulus, please," she said looking at him, tears forming in her eyes. "Please."_ _

__"Okay," He responded, taking a step back. "I'll leave you alone."_ _

__As he walked away, Sage could tell that he was upset.  
She knew how much he wanted to comfort her. Tell her that his brother is a dick and that she doesn't deserve him. _ _

__"Regulus, wait." He turned around, reluctantly. "I'm sorry, I just, I can't deal with anyone right now."_ _

__"No, it's okay," he said giving her a slight smile. "not even your best friend." He turned back around and started to make his way down the corridor, despite Sage's calls after him._ _

__She finally let the tears leave her eyes as she realized what was happening. She was losing her boyfriend, and it seemed to be losing her best friend._ _

__She was alone._ _

__

__\-----------------------------------------_ _

__Sage and Sirius hadn't talked for the rest of the day, and it seemed as if they made a point to avoid each other. Sage and the other girls sat at a different spot during dinner, and Sage didn't show up to their usual late night hang outs._ _

__The friend group started to get worried. Sure, they had had fights before, but never this serious. They always made up within hours._ _

__The next afternoon, Sage sat on the common room couch reading a book. when suddenly, James walked in, wearing some sort of goofy grin. He sat next to Sage, who had started to close her book._ _

__"And where were you that's got you all happy?" she asked, as his smile seemed to grow._ _

__"Oh, yknow," he said, leaning back. "Just out."_ _

__"Mhm, you know, Lily has been telling me what's been going on between you two." She sat up, moving a little closer to him._ _

__"Yeah?" he asked, looking at her. "Is that so?"_ _

__"Yep, and it seems like the both of you are having fun."_ _

__"Yeah," he smiled to himself. "I am."_ _

__"Well, I'm happy for you," Sage replied, giving him a smile. "Glad to see that she finally found some common sense. You'd think it wouldn't take her long to like a guy like you. Especially after that shit Snape pulled. Calling her a mudblood, even though he liked her."_ _

__"He really is pathetic." Sage could see angry building inside of him._ _

__"But hey," she continued, trying to change the mood from the ugly topic that is Severus Snape. "At least she didn't date him! He'd probably only do it as a way to prove to people he isn't a blood supremacist anyway."_ _

__"Yeah, you're right," James laughed. "But hey, gotta give him some credit as it's basically what Sirius is doing"_ _

__Suddenly, the mood changed. Sage's smiled dropped. James stopped laughing as he realized what he had said._ _

__"What?" Sage asked him, feeling a mix of anger and sadness build up inside her. "What, what do you mean?"_ _

__"Shit," he mumbled to himself at first. "No, that's not, that's not what I meant. That's not what happened."_ _

__But it was too late. Sage was already running up to the boys' dorms, despite James calling after her. She walked into the dorm, not bothering to even knock. She was met by a very surprised looking Remus and Peter looking at her._ _

__"Where is he?" She said, trying her best not to raise her voice. "Where's Sirius?"_ _

__"In the library," Remus asked, visibly confused. "Said he needed to be somewhere quiet. What is this ab-"_ _

__But he wasn't able to finish his sentence as Sage had already walked out the door. She practically ran out of the common room and down the corridor towards the library. She didn't care about the strange looks she was getting from passing students. She only cared about one thing._ _

__Sirius Black._ _

__As she neared the library she saw the boy walking down towards her, his head to his feet._ _

__"Sirius!" She practically yelled as she walked towards him._ _

__He looked up and his face seemed to light up. "There you are! I was just coming to find you. I felt bad about the way we left things earlier and I just wanted to-"_ _

__"Is it true?" she interrupted, determined to know the truth. "Are you only dating me because I'm muggleborn? As a way to prove to everyone that you're not an ignorant fucker? To your parents? To yourself?"_ _

__"What do you mean?" He asked, confused._ _

__"Just answer the question."_ _

__"I don't know who told you this, even though I have my suspicions with my brother. But it's not true!"_ _

__"Oh enough about your stupid brother!" she practically screamed at him. "Every time something happens you blame it on him. It doesn't matter who told me, but it wasn't him."_ _

__"Okay I'm sorry. I know I'm harsh on Regulus, and I'm trying to stop, for me. Because I love you." He put his hands on her arms as he said this, trying to calm her down._ _

__"Get the fuck off me Black," she said as she freed herself from his touch. "And if you actually loved me, you wouldn't get mad at everyone single mention of Regulus."_ _

__"I'm sorry, I just, I don't know where you got this idea from, and he just seems the most likely to tell you that."_ _

__"You know what Sirius?" she scoffed. "You and I? we're done."_ _

__Before he could even protest, she turned to talk away._ _

__"And for the record," she said, turning her head towards him one last time. "James has never lied to me. Doubt he would start now."_ _

__And with that, she was gone. She walked past all the people staring at her, all the people who had just witnessed her break up with Sirius Black. The boy everyone seemed to want to be with. But she just ignored them. She couldn't care less what everyone thought of her._ _

__She walked down the corridors as fast as she could as tears started to form in her eyes. Did she think she was crazy for what she had just done? Partly, yeah. Did she think it needed to be done? Yes. Did she love Sirius Black?_ _

__Yes._ _

__But that didn't matter right now. All that mattered was finding the only person she could think of right now. The one person who she thought could make everything better._ _

__She got to the dungeons and spotted Barty Crouch Jr. leaning against the wall outside the Slytherin common room. She walked up to him, trying to hide the fact that she was upset._ _

__"Crouch," she said, attempting to get his attention. He looked up from whatever he was doing and looked at her with disgust._ _

__"What do you want from me, you mudblood," he said in a disgusted tone._ _

__"Where's Regulus. I need to talk to him."_ _

__"And why should I?" he asked, standing up straight._ _

__"Please."_ _

__"Hmm, not good enough."_ _

__"Fine," she said sighing. "I'll make Remus give you some free cigs."_ _

__"Unfortunate that they're from a half-blood, but okay. I'll go get him." He disappeared into the Slytherin common room to soon appear with Regulus._ _

__"Who's here? What? You're not making sense Barty." But he stopped talking as he saw Sage standing there. He could tell what was upset, and quickly walked over to her._ _

__"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" he asked. trying to look at her face. She silently refused to talk in front of the other Slytherins. "Come on, let's go over here."_ _

__He brought her over to a mostly empty corridor, and that's when she broke. She started to cry as she collapsed onto his chest. He quickly wrapped his arms around her in a hug as her tears started to stain his shirt. He didn't know what was wrong, and frankly, he was still a little hurt from the day before, but that didn't matter. She needed him, so he was going to be there for her._ _

__After she finally gained some sense of calmness back, Sage gently lifted her head onto his shoulder as she quietly said "We broke up. Sirius and I."_ _

__Immediately, Regulus felt himself grow with anger. But he tried to keep calm for her._ _

__"I'm so sorry," he said as he started to stroke her head. "I'm so, so sorry. God, I could just kill him."_ _

__Sage slowly started to pull back, as she wiped her tears. "Well, I actually broke up with him."_ _

__"Still!" he responded, looking at her. "He must've done something!"_ _

__"Well yeah, James told me that he's only dating me because I'm muggleborn. You know, as a way to prove that he's a not a jerk. Which reminds me, I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday. I was just, really, really upset."_ _

__"Hey, hey, it's okay!" Regulus said, bringing her in for another hug. "I'm always going to be here for you. Okay?"_ _

__She nodded as she buried her face into his neck and he hugged her a little tighter._ _

__And then, she came to a realization._ _

__'_ Oh shit_,' she thought to herself. ' _Remus was right._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at begging is 'Be My Mistake' by The 1975 <3


	5. Chapter Five: Vinyls and Cigarettes

_My head is filled with parasites  
Black holes cover up my eyes  
I dream of you almost every night  
Hopefully I won't wake up this time _

"You've got to talk to him."

"Never. Well, at least not now." 

James had been trying to convince Sage to talk to Sirius about the breakup. They hadn't said more than five words to each other since week they'd been apart. It wasn't like Sage didn't want to talk to Sirius, it was more like she couldn't.

She just couldn't seem to bring herself to be in the same room as him, forget about having a conversation with him, no matter what it was about. 

"Cmon," James said, as Sage flipped through the vinyls in front of them. "I talked to him, and he forgave me. I don't know why he wouldn't forgive you."

"Look," Sage said, looking up at the boy. "I'm sorry that I told him that you were the one who told me, and I'm glad you two made up, but it's just different."

"But he's miserable!"

"I don't care," she looked back at the vinyls. And she didn't. As she flipped through the vinyls, trying to find the right one, she thought more about what had happened. Did she regret it? Not at all. Did she think it was the right way to do it? Probably not. But it's what she needed to do. And she didn't care if he approved or not. 

"Fine," James said giving up. "The one you want is right there." He pointed to the _'Hippo Campus'_ vinyl that she had been looking for. "By the way, he misses you. A lot."

"Thanks," she said, grabbing the vinyl and heading to the door. "And for the record, I don't miss him."

Now that was the lie. Did she miss him in a relationship way? No. God, fuck no. Did she miss his friendship? Yes. Definitely. And she knew she had to talk to him eventually, but she just couldn't right now. It was too much.

She opened the door to her dorm, hoping that she would be alone. As she saw that she was, she went over to the record player that she shared with the three other girls and put the vinyl on it. She carefully put the needle down and went to lie on her bed as the first song, 'Bambi' started to play.

_I swear to God, I wasn't born to fight_

_Maybe just a little bit, enough to make me sick of it_

__

_But I-I-I-I can read between the lines_

__

_I want to run from everything_

__

_But my legs won't work, it's clear to me_

She sighed at these lyrics, trying her best not to relate them to herself.

_I-I-I-I haven't been much myself_

__

_And I feel like my friends are being put through this hell I'm feeling_

__

_I think that I'm living, if you could call it living_

__

_So brash and unforgiving_

__

_Ruled by the vibe I'm bringing_ _'God,'_ She thought to herself. _'Of course this is the first song to come on.'_

She tried her best to not focus on the lyrics, just the music.

_The timing's poor I know it's never right_

__

_It's hard to see this time of night_

__

_Hard to know the reasons why I fucked it up again_

She finally had had enough and went over to the vinyl, skipping to the next song, _'Why Even Try'_ came on.

She sat back on her bed as the song started to play.

_When I forgot you, you came to mind_

__

_Every trouble, back in your eyes and_

__

_It's all cyclical, so why even try?_

__

_Why even try to change?_ _'You've got to be fucking kidding me,'_ she said, as she leaned back on her bed, groaning.

_You're yourself way more than I am_

__

_Being friends was in the palm of my hand_

__

_But I let it fall and break, so why even try?_

She sat there, cursing silently to the gods that this was the album that she felt like she need to play. But as she listened to the lyrics, it wasn't Sirius she was thinking of. It was his brother.

She had tried to push down the feelings she had felt that other day, telling herself that they weren't real. Her and Regulus and shared a moment, it was only natural for her to feel some type of feelings. Right? She was sure that he must've felt something too. 

_Soon it will all disappear_

__

_Maybe I will miss your voice in my ear_

__

_But I can't go back now, so why even try?_

__

_Why even try to hear?_

She just tried to push those feelings down once more, thinking about other things she had going on. Halloween was in two weeks, that was something! There will be a party, she could get drunk, finally. And Sirius's birthday was three days after.

Fuck.

She went back to the thought of the party. She could bring Regulus. He would decline, but she'd figure out a way to convince him. Maybe they would even dance together.

Fuck.

She decided to give up on the idea of Halloween all together. She moved onto her classes. Potions. Snape. Bad thoughts. Okay, Defense Against the Dark Arts. She had a paper due soon. One she knew nothing about. Remus could probably help her. Remus!

She quickly got off her bed and went down to the common room, not bothering to turn the vinyl down. She arrived to see Remus sitting on the couch, reading a book.

"Hey Re," she said, sitting down next to him an putting her head on his shoulder. "Wanna hang out?"

"What do you want, Sage?" He sighed, not looking up. He tried his best to seem annoyed, but Sage could see a slight smile creeping on his face.

"Nothing!" She said backing up defensively. "Just some help on a Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment. And maybe also a distraction."

This part caught Remus's attention. "Distraction from what exactly?" He closed his book as he said this.

"Ugh, just my thoughts," she replied, lying down on his lap. "Keep relating all the songs off of _'Bambi'_ to people."

"You ever think of, well I don't know, not listening to that album?" She looked up at him, trying her best to look offended.

"And deny myself the great pleasure that is _'Hippo Campus'_?" She asked, looking shocked.

"I'm just saying," Remus said, moving over so he could have Sage's head resting more comfortable on his lap. "They have a lot of happier songs! Like, pretty much all the songs on _'Landmark'_ "

"Fine," she said sitting up. "But will you still hang out with me? Please?" She gave her best 'pouty' face as she asked. "Unless, you got plans with Louie."

Remus had started dating Louie Davis, a sixth-year Ravenclaw, sometime in the middle of the September, right after he came out as bisexual to Sage. She always had a hunch, her being bi herself, so it didn't come as much as a surprise to her. 

He came out to the rest of the group after he started dating Louie; thought he should at least tell them before he randomly started snogging a boy in the corridors, save them shock. The group took it well, Marlene and Mary being part of the community themselves. James and Lily accepted and supported him like the kind-hearted people they are. It took Peter a little to get used to it, but eventually accepted it, not without some help from James. And Sirius, well Sirius acted strange for awhile; would suddenly go quiet when Remus entered the room, got uncomfortable whenever he talked about Louie. It eventually went away, and Remus wasn't very bothered by it, but it did always bother Sage. 

"No, I don't," Remus half-laughed. "Cmon, let's go to your dorm." 

The pair got up and walked up the stairs to the girls' dorm. When they opened the door, a vinyl was still playing.

_Why is it I want to change for you?_

__

_Why is it I want to see this through?_

__

_Maybe I'm sick of sleeping longer nights with lesser feelings_

Sage sighed before walking over to the record player and changing the vinyl.

_The mirror's image tells me it's home time_

__

_But I'm not finished, 'cause you're not by my side_

__

_And as I arrived I thought I saw you leavin'_

__

_Carryin' your shoes_

__

_Decided that once again I was just dreamin'_

__

_Of bumpin' into you_

"That's better," she said as she sat next to Remus, who had lit cigarette in between his fingers. He offered her the pack, and she took her own cig and snapped her fingers to light it; a trick she learned from Remus in fifth year.

"So," she said, taking a drag of cigarette. "How's it been going."

"Good," Remus hesitated. Sage just nodded her head, and looked off to the side. "You're acting weird?"

"Me?" She asked, putting her hand to her chest. "In what way."

"I don't know, but you just seem off. You have been since, you know, the break up."

"Yeah, I know," she stated out the window; the sun was starting to set. She always found the night sky to be so beautiful. The way the moon and the stars see just there always amazed her, even as a kid. "It's just been different lately. I feel like I can't spend time with my friends anymore because I feel like I always have to avoid Sirius. Which I know is dumb, but it's just always so awkward around him."

"Well, have you tried talking to him?" Sage responded to this with a small death glare. "Okay, sorry." He took a few more drags of his cigarette before continuing. "Well, I guess now is a good time to to tell you that James wants to use the Halloween party as a party for Sirius as well."

"You're kidding," Sage said, looking at Remus, who just shook his head. "Fine, I'm still bringing Regulus though."

"Sirius won't like th-" Remus started to say before he was cut off.

"I'm aware, and I don't really give a shit. I was already going to bring him and I'm not going to change my plans just so it will benefit Sirius. Regulus is my friend, and he's coming." She put the cig back in between her lips.

"Fine," Remus said, joining Sage in looking out the window. "just don't say I didn't warn you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm completely aware that both Hippo Campus and Arctic Monkeys did not exist in this time era, but i just love them sm to not include them lol.
> 
> songs at beginning is freaks by surf curse
> 
> Other songs mentioned are Bambi by Hippo Campus, Why even try by Hippo Campus, Golden by Hippo Campus, and Whyd you only call me when you're high by Arctic monkeys <3


End file.
